April 30, 2009
Posted in Fun, Life, Personal tagged cross-quarter day, May Baskets, May Day, May First, Maypole, tradition at 1:13 am by pdxfirefly
Did you remember that May 1st is always May Day? May Day is a cross-quarter day, meaning that in the Northern Hemisphere it falls approximately halfway between the spring equinox and summer solstice. Perhaps the most significant of the traditions is the Maypole, around which traditional dancers circle with ribbons.
On May first, May Baskets are traditionally made. These baskets are small and usually filled with flowers or treats and left at someones doorstep. The basket giver would ring the bell and run away. The person receiving the basket would try to catch the fleeing giver. If they caught the person, a kiss was to be exchanged. As a child, I always observed this tradition, by taking homemade baskets (usually cone-shaped and made out of construction paper) of flowers and delivering them to neighbors, then ringing the doorbell and running away! Now, I think it’s sort of rude to not be there when someone answers the door!!! Besides, exchanging a kiss sounds like ever so much fun!!!
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April 29, 2009
Posted in Health, Life, Personal tagged chemo side effects, primary peritoneal cancer at 1:57 am by pdxfirefly
Tomorrow, Thursday, April 30, 2009 is my third Doctor’s appointment and my third chemo session. I have know about this Cancer for only six weeks. According to my Doctor, I have only had it for 10 weeks. Wow, is my life different.
I had my blood drawn on Tuesday to check my blood levels and do the CA125 test that will tell us how well the chemo from last session is working. I will get the results from the Doctor in the morning. If you will remember, My CA125 level dropped in half after my first chemo; I am told that I shouldn’t expect the same result this time; but it would be encouraging!
I had a horrible time with the side-effects last session but I think I am better prepared for the aftermath this time. I sure hope so. I DO NOT want to go through that again this time.
After my Thursday Chemo I usually feel pretty good Friday and OK on Saturday morning; but about noon on Saturday, I start going downhill rapidly. That is because the side-effects of the “good drugs” they give me wear off then. Sunday I don’t even want to get out of bed (but they want me to make myself get up every two hours), so I do and then I go back to bed again and again and again and again and again. You get the idea. Saturday and Sunday are the times I need prayer the most because last session, I was too sick to even pray for myself.
On Monday, I feel like getting out of bed, but why bother getting dressed? On Tuesday, I actually want to take a shower and go and get my mail after 5 days. Then I gradually improve day by day until I feel really pretty good about day 14 and then I have one great week, but I get tired easily and find myself sitting down a lot.
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April 28, 2009
Posted in Life, Personal, story tagged Crossing the Bar, Father, memorial, Sir Alfred Lord Tennyson at 1:50 am by pdxfirefly
Sailboat going through flowers on the ocean
Sir Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote a poem entitled “Crossing the Bar”. It was not the last poem that he wrote, however he gave specific instructions that it was to be the last poem printed in any book of his poems. And so it is.
It is the poem that I had chosen to read at my Father’s Memorial service on the Pacific Ocean last Thursday morning. In 1992, My Father had hand written specific instructions on how his final wishes were to be carried out. I was unaware of exactly what he had written but I had a general idea of what he wanted done. My Brother had the papers and the exact form that the Memorial was to take and what was to be read. Since he handled all the arrangements, I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but I knew it would be wonderful.
And so, you can imagine my “non-surprise surprise” when, during the Memorial, my Brother began to read (from my Father’s instructions) the exact poem that I had chosen for my Father during the Memorial. It follows here….
CROSSING the BAR
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SUNSET and evening star,
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And one clear call for me!
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And may there be no moaning of the bar,
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When I put out to sea,
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But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
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Too full for sound and foam,
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When that which drew from out the boundless deep
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Turns again home.
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Twilight and evening bell,
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And after that the dark!
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And may there be no sadness of farewell,
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When I embark;
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For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
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The flood may bear me far,
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I hope to see my Pilot face to face
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When I have crossed the bar.
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April 27, 2009
Posted in Life, Personal, travel tagged alaska Airlines, Flight Attendants at 1:17 pm by pdxfirefly
Portland Firefly would llike to extend a special welcome to the Flight Attendants from Alaska Airlines. I hope you enjoy reading my blog and please spread the word about the symptoms of this rare and aggressive cancer – Primary Peritoneal Cancer.
Two posts that might be of special interest to you are “Seat Mates” of 10/23/08 and “September 11″ of 9/10/08. You can just type them in my search box.
And THANK YOU for always making my flights to Southern California so pleasant.
Buh-bye, now!
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April 23, 2009
Posted in community, Health, Life, Personal tagged education, ovarian cancer, primary peritoneal cancer, speaking engagements, symptoms at 2:35 am by pdxfirefly
This is to let the world know that Portland Firefly is available to speak to women’s groups about this horrible cancer — Ovarian and Primary Peritoneal Cancer.
There will be no fee and I am willing to travel as I am able.
Women MUST be educated about the symptoms of this fast growing, deadly cancer and I will do what I can toward this end. And so, if you belong to a women’s group — of any kind — PEO, Bible Study, Business Association, a group of your friends, etc, I would love to come and talk about my experience and educate the participants on the symptoms of the rare and aggressive cancer. Just for the record, I would be willing to speak to a mixed group (men & women), but since this applies mostly to women… the men might not be too interested in it.
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April 22, 2009
Posted in community, Fun, Life, Portland tagged baby birds, baby hawks hatching, Hawks, kgw raptorcam, nature at 3:08 am by pdxfirefly
I have been watching this live feed off and on for the last week. It is so amazing. The Momma Hawk brings in a partial bird and feeds the babies. They are so cute; sometimes they will “fight” with each other and then just lay down exhausted! Yesterday they were both sleeping “yin/yang” style with their unhatched sibling’s egg in between them. They both suddenly startled and sat up and looked around and then had to re-adjust themselves. Momma was watching from afar. I think their little “eggling” is moving around inside it’s shell and that is what startled them both at the exact same time.
Last week, Momma was keeping her newly hatched chicks warm and Papa brought her a nice beautiful twig with a fresh green bud on the end and put it in front of her. She nibbled on the fresh green leaves after she acknowledged him. It was too precious for words. So you see, when Men bring Women flowers, they are following the order of nature.
I really think that egg number three is about to hatch any day now. Will you be watching? http://www.kgw.com/raptorcam/?nvid=226982&live=yes
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Posted in community, Life, Portland tagged Earth Day, Portland at 1:30 am by pdxfirefly
Today, April 22 is Earth Day.
The story goes that Earth Day was conceived by Senator Gaylord Nelson after a trip he took to Santa Barbara right after that horrific oil spill off the Santa Barbara coast in 1969. He was so outraged by what he saw that he went back to Washington and passed a bill designating April 22 as a national day to celebrate the earth.
The first Earth Day was April 22, 1970. This is the day the environmentalists celebrate to help make our planet “greener”. Won’t you think of one thing you can do to improve the health of our planet? Have a great day!
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April 21, 2009
Posted in Health, Life, Personal tagged death, memorial, primary peritoneal cancer, sad at 1:21 am by pdxfirefly
Portland Firefly is just so sad today. I think the events of this last month have finally caught up with me. It was only 31 days ago that I received my diagnosis, but it seems like I have been dealing with it now for such a long time. I only lost my hair two weeks ago, but the constant presence of having to wear a hat or a scarf makes it seem like months already —- and I have such a long time to go yet.
Arrangements are being made for my Father’s Memorial and I think that contributes to my sadness. And when I go to California for his Memorial, I will be seeing my Daughter for the first time since our fun visit to see Neil Diamond at the Hollywood Bowl. It will probably be the last time I will see my elderly Aunt. And it will probably be the last time I will see some lifelong friends, only because I don’t know how much traveling I’ll be doing in the future. My beloved Brother and his wife will be there as well. I think this will be a very special and emotional trip for me.
PS: I sat out on my patio and had some homemade chicken and rice soup and a hamspread sandwich for lunch and I feel better now.
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April 20, 2009
Posted in Health, Life, Personal tagged Cancer, chemo side effects, chemo-brain, constipation, depression, fatigue, hair loss, headaches, indigestion, nausea, neuropathy, peritoneal cancer, Senna-S, side-effects at 1:28 am by pdxfirefly
As you know, Portland Firefly is undertaking a series of chemo-therapies in an attempt to slow down the aggressive peritoneal cancer that she has. I’m sure that you have all heard of the nausea that is well-known to follow chemo. But there are many other side-effects that also accompany this form of treatment. Portland Firefly is providing them here as a means of public education — nothing else.
The nausea is the most well-known of side effects. There are several excellent drugs that help to counter this nausea and that was not a surprise to me at all. The surprise was in the cost of the drugs; anywhere from over $50 per pill down to about $1 per pill….. the same pill just different pharmacies. Call and check prices first. I must take at least 5 of one pill every time I have chemo; if still nauseated, then, I must take another drug…. and then a third one. The goal is to not throw up at all because once you start …..
Another side effect of chemo is constipation; take the worst constipation you can imagine and then multiply it by 10. Not only are the chemo drugs constipating, but ALL pain meds also add to this problem. (If you offend easily, skip to the next paragraph.) At my “chemo class” the no-nonsense nurse told us about a natural laxative product called Senna -S and she gave us a little rhyme which everyone laughs at when they hear. “Take two in the PM for a BM in AM. ” It is a silly little rhyme, but it works and is easy to remember.
Neuropathy. What is that, you ask? Well, it has to do with the nerves in your hands and feet. You begin to lose feeling in your extremities and they become numb and sometimes tingle. The neuropathy in my feet started with my first chemo session and has never completely gone away. Some days, like today, my feet are completely numb and I know they are there, but I cannot feel them. Even the natural remedy that the oncologist (cancer doctor) recommended doesn’t completely remove this side-effect.
Headaches… sometimes you have them, sometimes you don’t.
Indigestion. This one caught me off guard and completely by surprise. Again, it started with my first chemo session and was so severe that I actually considered calling 911. Is it indigestion (I didn’t know it could be this intense), or is it really a heart attack? The remedy is to take something like a prilosec daily.
Fatigue. I doubt if my energy level will ever be what it once was. I do a lot of “resting”.
Chemo-brain. This is probably my favorite side-effect. It is sort of like dementia, because I can’t remember anything. The good news is you can tell me the same thing again and I’ll probably enjoy it just as much as I did the first time!! Actually, what really happens is that I forget my train of thought but sometimes I’ll even remember what it is that I was trying to say. I have to write everything down or I forget it but sometimes, I feel so disorganized that I can’t even find a pen or note pad. It is a struggle to keep organized because you just don’t feel like it most of the time. Think of me as “lovably ditsy”.
Hair-loss. No need to explain this one to you. And, no it does not become easier (to adjust to) as the weeks go by. I love scarves and hats, but come-on! wearing one 24 hours a day! My head gets cold even in the house.
I left out Depression. Along with the depression comes stifling inertia where you just can’t seem to get organized enough to get any thing done. Things just pile up. Just reading this is probably enough to make YOU cry, so you can imagine how someone going through this feels. Loving Friends are the best medicine for this side effect. Yes, call, if you want. If someone is too tired to talk, they’ll tell you so. If not, just knowing that someone cares enough to think of you helps a lot.
I left out the loss of balance, which (along with the neuropathy) is the reason that I can no longer do my beloved Flamenco dancing. The stomping in my lovely Spanish Gallardo Flamenco shoes would be just too painful and I’d lose my balance. Wouldn’t look good!
These drugs that are in my system are so powerful it is not surprising that the side-effects are many, varied and intense. One thing I found out last week after my second Chemo is that the side effects tend to increase in severity as your body becomes more toxic with each successive chemo treatment.
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April 18, 2009
Posted in Fun, Life, Personal, Recipes tagged Melinda, shortbread cookies at 1:37 am by pdxfirefly
Melinda's Shortbread Cookies by PDXFirefly
M-m-m ….. These are my favorite cookies and my sweet next-door neighbor knows how much I love them. She makes beautiful cookies for each season and always makes sure that I am the lucky recipient of a few of them. I forgot to take the picture before I ate half of the big one, so I had to cover it up with the smaller one!!! Actually, she brought me three of them; I told you they are my favorites! They are so-o-o-o delicious and beautiful, too!
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April 17, 2009
Posted in community, Life, Personal, story tagged baby seals, Flight Attendants, Green, otters, plastic holder at 1:05 am by pdxfirefly
One of the things that I loved about my career as a Flight Attendant was the wonderful variety of women that I had the privilege to meet and work with on a daily basis. Without even knowing it, they taught me much and expanded my horizons in ways I could not have imagined.
Every time, and I do mean every single time, I remove the plastic holder from a six pack of soda, I am reminded of one of these remarkable women. What?!! How could one of these plastic holders remind me of someone else. I’ll explain.
Plastic Soda Holder by PDXFirefly
It was many years ago (close to 20) when there were pictures of baby seals, and otters with plastic around their necks, strangling them as they grew into adulthood. What happened was that the baby sea animal would swim into one of these plastic soda pop holders and it would get stuck around their neck. As they grew, the plastic would only stretch so far and eventually the animal would suffocate or starve to death. Many animals were recovered, but too late to save them.
And so, one day on my flight, my fellow Flight Attendant was busy in the back galley cutting up all of these plastic holders. When I asked why she doing such a thing, she happily explained the reason to me. My reply was something along the lines of ” I don’t throw my trash in the ocean.” To which she calmly stated that she “didn’t know where her trash ended up and therefore was doing her part.” Her calm answer made me think…”Do I really know where my trash ends up?” The honest answer was “No.”
I became an instant convert and have cut up my plastic soda pop holders ever since. Will you join us? It only takes a few seconds and think of how your actions will contribute to a safe life for those wonderful water creatures we love to see.
Cut-up Plastic by PDXFirefly
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April 16, 2009
Posted in community, Fun, Life, Portland tagged baby hawks, kgw raptor cam, Portland birds, Portland Hawks, Raptor Cam, red-tailed hawks at 8:53 am by pdxfirefly
Go to this link for live coverage of these cute little balls of fluff! One more egg to hatch yet. Will you be watching??? http://www.kgw.com/raptorcam/?nvid=226982&live=yes
I just watched the Momma Hawk feed the babies this morning….It is so TOTALLY Cool!!! Watch!!!! If you log on about 8:00am, then you can watch her feed them and groom them before she puts them down for their morning nap! I just keep one window open on this all day so I can check back every now and then. Enjoy!
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Posted in Health, Life, Personal tagged Cancer, Fibromyalgia at 1:03 am by pdxfirefly
I have mentioned in an earlier post that I have an incurable condition, but I didn’t name the ailment. In 1997 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It is very painful, was difficult to diagnose and even more difficult to treat. I think I was off work for over 8 months trying to get stabilized on medications and relieve the pain cycle. Finally I was able to return to my beloved career as a Flight Attendant and continued working for many years until I was furloughed in 2003. Initially I was on several highly addictive medications and I eventually came off of all of them and only took herbal and vitamin supplements.
One of the encouraging things that I was told during my recovery was ” if you have Fibromyalgia, you will not get cancer.” Well, now I still have the Fibromyalgia and now I also have cancer. Somebody lied to us. I really don’t care at this point because what is, is. I just wanted to set the record straight. You can get cancer if you have Fibromyalgia. There!
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April 13, 2009
Posted in Life, Personal tagged Fathe's death at 12:56 pm by pdxfirefly
I find it interesting that I had pre-scheduled for publication today my Daughter’s post on death. I had Chemo last Thursday and I had a very rough weekend experiencing the unwanted side effects of this marvelous therapy. I suspected that I would not be up to writing and so I prepared in advance several posts to be published over this last weekend and today. I was too ill to turn the computer on this morning and stop the post from being published so I let it go.
But last night at 11:00pm, my telephone rang. I debated about answering it, but when I saw it was from my Brother who normally goes to bed quite early, I suspected the worst about my Father.
When I saw the call was from my Brother, I suspected the worst, and it was immediately confirmed with my Brother’s first word to me, my name. I knew immediately from his voice. He didn’t even have to tell me. I asked him, it was more of a statement really… “It’s Dad, isn’t it?” “When?”
My Father was almost 90 years old and he fell about 10 days ago and broke his hip. He was in a lot of pain and never liked being in the hospital or nursing care system. He had been in terrible pain and I am glad that he is not suffering in pain anymore. My Step-Mother and Brother will make the arrangements to accommodate my illness, but I can’t even think about that today. I am still fighting the unwanted side effects of the Chemo, which diminish with each day.
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Posted in Health, Life, Personal, story tagged death, peritoneal cancer, prioirties, time at 1:12 am by pdxfirefly
My Daughter, Heathervescent, who has her own company called The Purple Tornado and is a consultant for product identity, brand identity, and marketing wrote this post on her blog and I have her permission to reprint it here. She was in the middle of a 3 week long trip – part business to SXSW in Austin, TX and part personal to visit paternal family in Iowa – when I had to call her and tell her of my cancer diagnosis. It shows another side that the events surrounding this disease presents to families. I am so proud of her.
I traveled to Iowa to visit my grandparents who are in their late 80s and starting to have a few problems. I wanted to spend time with them as you never know what might happen or when they might go. I wanted to see them while I still could. But the universe gave me a punch out of left field.
In a cafe in Austin, my mom told me she had been diagnosed with a rare very deadly form of cancer: primary peritoneal cancer. Everyone who has been diagnosed with it has died from it. Average lifespan after diagnosis is 2 years – maybe 5, 10 at the max.
The heaviness of this has been sinking in the past couple days. All this mental preparation to say goodbye to my grandparents, to see them, tell them things, hear things from them, spend time with them, my possible last goodbye – I am re-adjusting to my mom. The good thing, is that I feel very good about my relationship with her. There is nothing unsaid, nothing I am concerned about. But damn, I thought there would be more time.
I have seen death, so I’m not afraid – for myself or her or anyone.
But thinking about the end, is making me think about certain things differently. I often consider my own death, and what I want to be doing when it visits its final kiss. If I died today, sure there are a lot of things I will miss out on doing, being and accomplishing – but I’ve had a good life, I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to up to now. But moving beyond today – priorities shift.”
I thought that we would have many more years too, my sweet girl, my beautiful Heathervescent. We will just have to cram it all into a few fabulous years!!!
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April 12, 2009
Posted in Life, Personal tagged Happy Easter, Heaven, Resurrection at 1:32 am by pdxfirefly
This day celebrates the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the grave. Because of this, we all are able to enter into Heaven. Portland Firefly just wants to wish everyone a very Blessed and Happy Easter!
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April 11, 2009
Posted in Life, Personal, story, travel tagged fishing, High Sierras, Portland, Sunshine, trout at 1:20 am by pdxfirefly
When I was a child, we went camping every summer up in the High Sierra Mountains, always near a certain lake where the trout fishing was supurb. These are some of my fondest memories and to this day, I love to trout fish. And last year my Father gave me my Mother’s fly fishing rod which I have yet to try out. But that is another story.
We always went camping in August and it was always “in the dark of the moon” because that is when the fishing was at it best. In the High Sierra Mountains of California there is often snow year around and frequently there would be big patches of snow still in our campground in August.
Why am I writing about this today? Well, today in Portland it is that kind of a High Sierra Summer’s Day. It is still cold and crisp in the morning (near freezing) (Yes, we Portlanders are sick and tired of this winter!); yet the sun is shining brightly through the cloudless sky. Ususally I don’t open my bedroom blinds (too lazy), but this morning, the promise of sunshine streaming onto my stripped bed was too good to ignore. And I opened the shades and the blinds full open. Glorious sunshine streamed into my usually cave like private abode. It totally energized me and here is is before 10:00am and I have done a load of laundry, cooked an omlette, did the dishes, made a few phone calls and now sit at the computer writing. But, I digress.
When we were camping, and we would wake up in the morings , it would be cold. Daddy would get the fire going again and Mommy would make us hot coco to warm us up. I remember one day, I was really cold and just couldn’t get warm. I am sure I was compaining as only a 10 year old girl can complain about being “freezing cold”, yet my parents had done everything they could to get me warm. Eventually my Dad said something I have never forgotten. Maybe it was an attempt move “the compainer” away from the rest of the family, but I don’t think so. I think it was his genuine concern for me that brought him to say “Take your coco and go and stand in the Sunshine. That will help warm you up.” I remember walking around looking for the warmest spot of sunshine I could find and gradually getting warmer. It worked. And I have never forgotton those words of wisdom of his.
And this chilly, sunny Saturday in Portland has just same “feel” that that chilly sunny Morning had at our campground. And I hope you are warmed-up by my story, too. Remember, “take your coco and go and stand in the sun.”
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April 10, 2009
Posted in Fun, Recipes tagged deviled eggs, Easter, easter eggs, hard boiled eggs, Recipes at 12:00 pm by pdxfirefly
I have two previous posts related to hard boiled eggs. The one posted on 10/18/08 tells you how to hard boil eggs. The recipe for curried deviled eggs was posted on 1/31/09. You may want to use this recipe to make deviled eggs after the kids find all those hard boiled eggs you colored.
The easiest way to access these recipes is to just click on “recipes” on the right side of my blog under “categories”. Or you can type the date into my search box and the post will come up for you. You can also type eggs into my search box and then click on the title to access the posts. Have an eggstravaganza day!
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Posted in Health, Life, Personal tagged CA125, chemo, peritoneal cancer, portacath at 1:33 am by pdxfirefly
Yesterday, April 9, 2009 I had my second Doctor’s visit and my second chemo session. Again, my Son accompanied me to the Doctor’s. We had an 8:45 am appointment which lasted until 11:00 am. We were either talking to the Physician’s Assistant , PA, (doctors assistant) who answered some of our questions, or talking to the doctor who answered the rest of our tough questions, or I was being examined by the Doctor. So it was a long 2 hours, but a productive time. I really like my Doctor and I think we are a good fit in that we understand each others values and I respect her expertise and value her guidance. We are completely on the same team and she is the quarterback. I feel so blessed to have been directed to her care.
Then I started my second session of chemotherapy. They are giving me the highest possible dosage in order to attack this aggressive cancer. And that means that I can only have chemo once every three weeks. But… it also means that it takes about 5 hours to administer all the drugs I need to get into my system. My first chemo took 6 hours; this one today only took 5 hours. They were able to administer the drugs more quickly today because I did so well tolerating the drugs the first time.
I am receiving a total of 6 drugs and they are all administered through my newly installed (3/31) portacath. This means that they insert the chemo needle into my port and administer the drugs through that. When the bruising has healed on my portacath, I’ll be posting an actual picture of my portacath for you all to see. Some people may have difficulty looking at the picture with the bruising present because it looks hurtful. It does hurt a little bit while it is still healing, but I am so glad that this options was made available to me. And a Tylenol every now and then does the trick for the minimal discomfort I experience occasionally.
The best news of the day came just as I was ready to leave the cancer center. It was regarding my CA125. http://www.medicinenet.com/ca_125/article.htm The CA125 is the definitive blood test for ovarian and peritoneal cancer. Normal levels are 30 or below. The CA125 that was drawn on 3/13/09 while I was in the hospital came back at 2000. There was a second CA125 done on 3/20/09 just before I had my first chemo session. That CA125 came back at 2557; it had gone up over 500 points in just one (very sick) week. Then I had my first chemo. I noticed last Wednesday (about 13 days after the first chemo) that I seemed to have a tiny little bit of color in my cheeks which had been grey for months. Was I really seeing what I thought I was seeing? Thursday afternoon while getting ready for the Memorial Service, I noticed a little bit more color. Hum-m-m?!! I AM feeling better. I think I am looking better. I hope the color isn’t because I have a little fever. No, I don’t feel hot; maybe the chemo is really working. And when my Son saw me yesterday for the first time in several days he said that I looked much healthier with better color not only in my face, but in my arms and hands as well.
Well, Thursday (yesterday) 4/09/09, I got my CA125 test back. It had dropped to 1244 from 2557! It is roughly HALF of the value it was three weeks ago prior to my first chemo. No wonder I was a little bit tired these last few weeks! Yeah Nobles!! March on! Get those bad boys! We can do it!!!! Do you hear the hope in my words? I hope you do, because it is there. Portland Firefly continues to thank you for your prayers.
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Posted in Life, Personal tagged Good Friday, Heaven, Jesus, path to salvation at 12:01 am by pdxfirefly
Today is Good Friday, the day that we remember the events that led up to Jesus Crucifixion. His crowning of thorns, His beatings, His carrying of the cross to Golgotha where he was crucified and hung for three hours (noon -3) before expiring.
I always find it remarkable that a most significant event is not always mentioned. When Jesus died, He entered immediately into heaven where He opened the line of direct communication to God for us. We no longer needed to “go through the priest” to get our prayers to God. We could do so directly without intercession. This fact was made manifest by the “tearing of the temple veil from top to bottom.” Big deal I thought anyone could have done that. Not so, I found out later.
The “temple veil” was not a sheer fine piece of fabric. Oh no, it was about 6 inches thick, and over 40 feet tall. It was “torn from TOP TO BOTTOM”. So only a supernatural power – God – could have done this thing. This is the physical event that made manifest the fact that now the gates of heaven are open to all who desire to enter. And all have direct access to God.
To enter heaven, one only accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You do this, by stating that you are a sinner (hey, we all are!). Then you say you are sorry for your sins. Say you accept Jesus as your Savior and you believe that He died for your sins and He is in heaven.
Pretty easy. It would be helpful if you went to church to receive additional direction for your life, and some want to be baptized as an outward sign of this internalization of faith, but it is not necessary. Remember that church is a place for sinners — no one is perfect here on earth. I firmly believe in life after death and I know that I will live in heaven for the rest of eternity. It is so easy to get there…won’t you come along?
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April 9, 2009
Posted in Life, Personal, story tagged Bible Study, Chris Herrman, Memorial service, Passover, Seder, Thursday nights at 1:42 am by pdxfirefly
Today is April 9, 2009. This is the Thursday before Easter, Maundy Thursday. It is also the feast of Passover. Two months ago, I told my Thursday night Bible Study class that I have been wanting to have a Passover Seder Dinner for years. Since Passover was on Bible Study night and we usually have a potluck dinner around this time, could we make it a Seder dinner this year? All agreed. And since I really love to cook and since I found some fabulous recipes, I was looking forward to cooking most of the meal for our group. I was really looking forward to the cooking, and hosting at my home and being able to use my “pretties”. But most of all I was looking forward to making an unforgettable memory for our group.
Then I found out three weeks ago that I am sick. That was bad enough, so we sort of put the Seder Dinner on postponement until I was feeling better. Then the unimaginable happened. Our Bible Study leader, Chris died unexpectedly. He and his lovely wife, Cindy have hosted Bible Study for many years on Thursday nights at their home. On a recent Friday night while they were reading after dinner, Chris got up from his chair and fell on the floor. He was dead before he fell to the ground. and all efforts to revive him (45 minutes of paramedic CPR) failed. At a young 47 years, this is something our group never expected. His wife chose to have his Memorial Service on the following Thursday in honor of the Bible Study night. That was last Thursday and I was feeling well enough to attend and even to say a few words at his Memorial Service.
Well, tonight is Passover. Today I am having chemo and will not be attending Bible Study tonight. Tonight we will not be having the Seder Diner I have been wanting to have for so long. It will have to wait and we may have it in the middle of the summer….but who cares! None of us are Jewish, but we wanted to experience this celebration anyway. Besides, it is always fun to share a special meal with dear friends.
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April 8, 2009
Posted in Beauty, Fun, Health, Life, Personal tagged chemo hair loss, hats, primary peritoneal cancer, scarves at 11:33 am by pdxfirefly
Here are some good things about having no hair:
1. My bathroom sink looks much neater without the hairdryer, curling iron, and brushes and combs all over.
2. Think of the money I’ll save on shampoo, mousse, conditoners!
3. It takes me way less time to get ready in the morning.
4. I now have an excuse to wear adorable hats and scarves! And if people look at me weird –too bad for them!
5. I like hats — I’ll probably get tired of wearing them, but right now, I like my “turban style scarf”. “It brings out my eyes”‘.
6. I’ll probably get fewer colds because my head will always be covered and won’t get cold!
7. I won’t have to waste time at the beauty shop.
8. Think of the money I’ll save on hair coloring products!!
9. I’ll save more money on hair cuts!
10. I can change my hair style on a wim with just a different wig!
11. Can you think of any others?
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April 7, 2009
Posted in Fun, Health, Personal tagged Get Well cards at 11:20 am by pdxfirefly
Cards on the Mantle by PDXFirefly
Do you see the card you sent to Portland Firefly? Thank you!!!!
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Posted in Beauty, Health, Life, Personal tagged chemo, hats, losing hair, peritoneal cancer, purple hair, scarves, wigs at 1:08 am by pdxfirefly
Purple Hair by PDXFirefly
Last Friday morning I washed my purple tresses for the last time. I had a busy weekend coming up and wanted to look as good as I could while I still had my hair. Most people like my purple hair and I absolutely love it. It has grown on me as a sort of “badge of courage” and I’ll be sad to see it go, not just because I am losing my hair, but because I am losing my PURPLE hair. Portland is so weird anyway that nobody hardly notices it — at least they don’t act surprised when I go into stores and restaurants. The reaction of little girls is the most fun to observe!!!
It has only been two weeks since my first chemo, and my nurse told me that my hair will definitely be gone before my second chemo (which is scheduled for Thursday, 4/9). I figured that I might lose it on the Tuesday or Wednesday just prior to my Chemo. But when I washed it last Friday, I felt something in my fingers as I was putting mousse in my hair. I looked and it was a glob of hair –purple hair –full length, not just a tiny little bit. I set it gently on the corner of the sink, the purple was easy to see against the white porcelain. I stared at it for a while –trying to comprehend the reality of what was happening. My hair is really going to fall out. And soon.
Then I went on with drying my hair, all the while praying fervently that it wouldn’t all fall out until after my lunch date on Monday. Please just let me have my hair for this week-end. I know it sounds stupid, but I really have some people I am meeting this weekend and I want them to see my purple hair and then it can all fall out.
When it does start to fall out, it is supposed to come out in clumps; that is when people go and get their heads shaved if they want. I’ll see how the process goes. My girlfriend in California, who has the exact same type of cancer I do (primary peritoneal) told me that my head will hurt before my hair falls out. She is right; my head has been hurting for days, so it is nice to have a bit of a warning.
Once I lose all of my hair, it will stay gone until after chemo stops. Then about 6-8 weeks after chemo stops, it will start to grow back in. Let’s see 18 weeks of chemo,plus 8 weeks to start to grow in, then another 8 weeks until it’s long enough to see so that would be 34 weeks. Hum-m-m there are 52 weeks in a year, so that would be roughly 9 months! This is April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December! My hair grows so very slowly, that it will take forever for it to grow back in. I guess I’d better get used to my wigs and scarves and hats!!!
PS: It is now Monday night and God answered my prayer. Enough of my hair stayed in until tonight. I was able to have my lunch date, then Happy Hour with some girlfriends, then I stopped by dance class to see everyone for a few minutes, and finally off to Dairy Queen for a sunday before heading home. When I got home, my head was hurting and every time I touched my hair, hair came out in my hand. I would just look at it as though I had never seen hair before. Finally I decided to just cut it as short as possible. Then I decided to wash it to help it fall out. After drying it, I felt much better. Now I look like Annie Lennex with a purple haze. Tomorrow I will call my hairdresser and have it shaved off. A friend who lost his wife to Luekemia last fall, called me tonight (Monday) to offer me her hats. His timing is perfect and his generosity is greatly appreciated on many levels. Yes, I shed a few tears, but this only means that the chemo is working. More blood tests Tuesday and then we see the Doctor and I have my second chemo on Thursday.
The picture shows how my brush looked when I brushed my hair on Monday and then you can see some of the hair that I cut off Monday night.
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April 6, 2009
Posted in community, Health, Life, Personal tagged cards, emails, notes, Portland Firefly, primary peritoneal cancer at 1:20 am by pdxfirefly
Since my diagnosis of Primary Peritoneal Cancer two weeks ago Portland Firefly has received hundreds of calls, emails, letters, and cards. I am so totally overwhelmed by all the loving support, prayers, thoughts, good wishes and encouragement that so many have sent my way. My fireplace mantel (the favorite place to display cards) is overflowing with cards. I intend to print (as soon as I replace my printer ink cartridge) all the beautiful and heartfelt emails that you have sent my way. I want to put all my cards and emails into a little book, so I can turn to them for encouragement when I am feeling low.
You have all made me feel so loved and cared for. I am totally amazed. I have only lived here in Portland for about 17 months now and I cannot get over how many people have come to stand beside me and help me and lift me up.
My PEO sisters (more about PEO in another post) will be taking me to and from Chemo and whenver I need to go to the hospital. My neighbors are mowing my lawn and bringing in my trash barrels for me, unasked. My church is providing meals for me whenver I need them (usually the week of chemo). Some of my girlfriends took me to lunch Friday, when I still had my purple hair; and they gave me an adorable hat and beautiful soft scarf in shades of magenta (one of my best colors, as they all commented!) for when I don’t have any hair. People who don’t know what to say, come up to me and give me a sweet silent hug. Their wordless gesture so very powerful. And there are countless others who are on my “will call list” if anything unexpected comes up . Oh, I forgot the beautiful flowers I have received… brightening up my housebound days.
I can’t believe that I forgot to mention the numerous prayer lists that people have put me on. I firmly believe in the power of prayer and I know that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and that God alone has the plan for my life; I am submitted to His will. I so appreciate everyone that has asked if they could put me on their prayer list at their church — whichever church it might be. I don’t even ask which church, I just tell them , “Yes, please. Thank you so much.” So to all of the prayer warriors out there… Portland Firefly thanks you from the bottom of her very grateful heart.
One thing I have learned is that people want to help me if they can. I am honored that they have offered to do so. I will humble myself and allow them to help me where they can. I can use their help and I think it empowers them to be able to contribute to enhancing my quality of life and it allows me to be able to save my energy for the important things that I need to do so I can leave something of value to my family.
And so….to all who have encouraged me one way or another…. A BIG HUG AND A BIG THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. From your loving Portland Firefly….
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