May 18, 2009
Multnomah Falls
Multnomah Falls by PDXFirefly
My daughter arrived this week to take care of me when I return from the hospital after surgery. She came to Portland a few days early so we could do some “fun” things.
After I picked her up at the airport on the most beautiful Sunday we have seen this year, we headed out toward Multnomah Falls. What a beautiful drive! The drive up the steep winding hill from Corbett was especially exhilarating in the Jag with its wonderful turning ability and superb handling on the turns. What speed limit… I was driving so fast that I couldn’t read the signs! Not really! OK, I was driving carefully, but I guess you could say aggressively, and not even pushing the limits of myself or the car. So I was really driving conservatively! Yes, Conservatively…. for Mario Andretti!!!!!
Anyway, it was the perfect day for a drive out to the Falls. We stopped at the Multnomah Falls Lodge and had dinner at the restaurant looking up at the towering falls. That water never slowed down while we were eating. It just kept rumbling over the edge of those rocks. Amazing. And this has been going on for centuries!
We then drove up to the Horsetail Falls trailhead and walked (hiked) up a narrow steep trail that ziz-zaged through the lush fern laden forest to Horsetail Falls. The trail then cuts through basalt pillars to the cave which is in behind the falls. So you actually walk behind the wall of falling water. What a cool thing to be able to do….actually walk behind a waterfall!
Behind Horsetail Falls by PDXFirefly
Since Chemo adversely affects the blood levels, not only is my immune system compromised, but the ability of my blood to collect and deliver oxygen is diminished. And so I was out of breath during the upward climb. And with the neuropathy, my feet are numb, so my balance was off as well. My Daughter let me (insisted that I) hold onto her arm for which I was grateful on the narrow trail. It was a special time and very rejuvenating to be out enjoying the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest. Images I can take with me to the hospital to block out the bare, sterile hospital walls.
My Body
Before I found out that I have cancer, I had only one scar on my body and that was from when I was 5 years old and it is on my leg and I can hardly see it and I know exactly where to look for it. Now I have a small scar and a bulge in my chest where the portacath was positioned as well as regular bruises there.
I am scheduled for surgery soon and will most probably have a large incision resulting in a large scar. And so I have been thinking of this new change to my body. I have decided that God has given me a beautiful body….maybe not as beautiful as it was twenty years ago…but it is still a woman’s body with the beauty that all women’s bodies have. Please note that I did not say that I have a perfect body; I have come to love my body just as it is.
That will change soon on the outside for there will be a very large scar up the middle. The insides have already changed. Cancer laden fluid has been bathing my abdomen and all of my organs for at least 3 solid months now. There are numerous tumors settled into the peritoneum. And who knows at this time (hopefully we will after surgery) in what other organs the cancer has decided to live.
And so I am saying good-bye to my beautiful body and getting ready to welcome my “cancer surviving body.” This is one more good-bye that I am forced to say.
