July 31, 2009

A Whole Empty Vacant Lot Full

Posted in Fun, History, Life, Personal, story tagged love, southern California, the court, vacant lot at 12:27 am by pdxfirefly

    I grew up in Southern California and one of my earliest memories is the apartment that my parents and I lived in until I was about 2 years old.  It was actually called a “court”, and the series of single level “garden” apartments stepped back in an attractive manner, from the wide grassy space in the front narrowing to the apartments closer together near the rear of  ”the court”.     The post-war women of the court  became friends, some friendships outlasting several husbands yet lasting their lifetimes.   This closeness encouraged the children of the court to play together daily in the warm, nurturing California sunshine.     I was one of those children so nourished and loved.

   California had not yet begun to see its mega growth and so there were many vacant lots in the neighborhood.   One large corner was totally vacant of any building;  it consisted of at least two lots and maybe four.  A huge open space to children who could get lost in it for the entire day — or at least until we got hungry!  —  and covered in irresitable undergrowth.   This natural vegetation allowed for small animals to build their burrows and this helped the vacant lot to develop it’s remarkable topography of burms and valleys and trails, so fun to run and hide and play in complete with tall weeds and tiny flowers. 

     To me it was not vacant at all , but my own special nature playground where I discovered all sorts of mysteries and I loved to play in that vacant lot.   It had a remarkable energy and aliveness, it was not static or boaring.   It was the delicate, tiny flowers  that were like a magnet to this inquisitive child allowing me to bring a bouquet of flowers home to my Mommy and Grandma.   Since this was an uncultivated, uncared for stretch of ground, they probably were not flowers, but most probably were flowering weeds as some might call them.  Nevertheless, they were beautiful to me and deserved to be presented to someone I loved.  And so they often were. 

     A while later, we moved into our “new house”, on the same street,  just down the block a ways.  The vacant lot was never “developed” ( at least not for many years)  and as we grew older, we played there many times.  Picking flowers gave way to playing war games with the boys and we became less cautious in our play.

     One day several of us were in the vacant lot playing and for some reason, we were running with long sticks in our mouths…. don’t ask.    I don’t know why we had sticks in our mouths, but we did.  And I remember running over the uneven ground and then an unexpected rise in the dirt and I fell.  I fell face forward pushing the stick into the back of my throat.  I tasted the dirty stick.  It hurt.  I think I bled.  I was crying.  I remember a child, probably the boy next door, we were inseparable, helping me get home safely.

    It must not have been a very bad fall or scrape and my Guardian Angel must have been looking out for me because, I could talk and sing well enough to have a lead in a musical here and there over the years.  No harm done!

     Anyway, The Vacant Lot was the single most VAST space that my little mind could imagine.   Since I had played there on end, never seeing the same area twice,  I knew it had to be huge.  

      And so it came to be one evening while I was sitting on my Daddy’s lap, that this little girl, who could not yet tie a bow, thought of a way to tell him how much she loved him.  I told him that I loved him ” a whole empty vacant lot full”.  I remember the puzzled look on his face as he tried to find the compliment in this strange comment.  And in my little girl way, I remember explaining it to him.  I think he got it then, but I’m not sure.  I do know that he did finally “get it” because that is how I told him how much I loved him my whole life….  ”I love you a whole empty vacant lot full.”   There was no other space that could contain that vast ”empty vacant lot”  and so a “whole empty vacant lot full” of love was the most love that this child believed was possible.

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