November 16, 2009
On Monday, 11/16, Portland Firefly will have another Doctor’s appointment. I have had a nice long respite from Chemotherapy and I am feeling very well and have a lot of energy and my hair is starting to grow back. In fact, my hair is almost to the point that I might feel comfortable going out in public without a scarf but now it is so cold here in Northwest that everyone needs to wear a hat when venturing out, especially me.
The reason I am telling you all of this is because, my Doctor is recommending that I have another year of Chemotherapy. It is called Maintenance Chemo and I will find out more about this at the appointment. But just thinking of starting up a year more of Chemo is very depressing for me. I have had eight months of it and have felt ‘unwell’ for most of that time. Now to think of another year is really disheartening.
I know that this is a deadly cancer that I have. I know that the prognosis is very grim. I know that I have had a remarkable response to the Chemotherapy. I also know that it is probably my only chance to even have the thought that I can have the life expectancy that I want to have (5 -7 years more).
But I still don’t want to be sick all the time and I really do not want to lose my hair again (especially now that it has just started to grow back in). But at the same time … I do not see where I have any other choice but to do it.
My friend from California that has the same cancer I have (Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma) called me unexpectedly on Saturday and cheered me up. She is an inspiration to me and I value her kindness and caring.