January 29, 2010
Taking Down the Tree
Posted in Health, Life, Personal tagged Cancer, Christmas dcorations, undecorating at 3:47 pm by pdxfirefly
Yes, Portland Firefly knows that it is almost February; but today I finally had the energy to remove the decorations from my ‘everlasting’ tree. I love Christmas and I love the way my home looks when it is decorated for the holidays. I even have special Christmas dishes that I use during this season. But today was the day that I finally decided that the tree had to come down.
As I took a slight break and gazed at the partially undecorated tree, I had a thought. I wondered if this was the last time that I would be undecorating a tree. Last Christmas I wasn’t even sick yet and now I am left wondering if I will be decorating my home in 2010 for Christmas. All signs lead to the fact that I’ll be here doing all the things that I love, but those Stage IIIc statistics (31% survive 5 years) are always there.
Especially on the days when I am more tired than usual or when I am too critical of my appearance. Particularly my eyes; they seem to be more sunken and tired-looking than I would like them to be. I hope my doctor doesn’t read this because she would be ‘not happy’ with me to hear me talking like this. However, I want to be honest. I want to be honest with you my readers and more important I have to be honest with myself. And these are the thoughts that I am having today.
Was this my last Christmas to decorate for Christmas? Will I feel like it next Christmas? Will I have the energy to decorate? Only God knows the answer.
