January 3, 2011
Contrite Firefly
I know … I have not written very much these last several months. I know that many of you have been asking for more … more information about my health ….. more stories…. and more thoughts.
Portland Firefly apologizes. I hope that I have not let you down, but at the same time I am sure that you understand that I have been pretty ill. When my first recurrence was confirmed the end of September by my blood tests it was no surprise to me. I had suspected something was going on for several months; it just took that much time for the blood test to confirm what I was already pretty sure was happening to my body.
When I did get the blood test results and sat down and thought about it for a few minutes, it was as though I had been hit in the chest. It knocked the breath out of me and I physically felt that some one had hit me hard in the chest! This is a phrase that I have heard used by others in different situations, but this is the first time that I had experienced it for myself. It literally knocked the wind out of my sails.
I know that this cancer ~ Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma ~ is very rare and very deadly. I know that the possibility of recurrence is very high. But at the same time, my doctor wanted me to focus on the fact that there are those who are cured after the first round of Chemo. And she wanted me to be in that cured minority ~ and I wanted to be there, too!
But, I wasn’t.
I had that first recurrence and the subsequent chemotherapy with remarkable results though. I have to say that I am looking forward to my next conversation with my doctor. I will be asking her the probability of my now having a cure after this last go around of chemo. Why would I even think of asking that question? It is because of the way that I am feeling. After all of this chemo ~ 29, I think~ I am feeling very well. I have a lot of energy – more than I had last time. Yes, I get very tired easily, but in general, I feel much better than I have felt in years! How can that be, I wonder? The only answer I have is that possibility this last round of chemo killed many more cancer cells than it had before. And consequently, my body is not as dragged down as it had been.
Nowadays, I still find that I must pace myself in order to prevent extreme fatigue, but my strength is steadily increasing. Not on a daily basis, but certainly weekly. The effects of the chemotherapy are cumulative and so every time I have chemo, I will experience more fatigue and more chemo brain. The longer that I am off of chemo, those side effects will diminish and I will eventually return to my normal self… but in the meantime….
September 10, 2009
1 Year Anniversary
Today, September 10, 2009 marks the 1 year anniversary of Portland Firefly’s weblog.
It has been a great year for me and during that year I have published 302 posts on this website. With my diagnosis of Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma my writings became decidedly more personal and directly cancer related. As I continued my Chemotherapy, I made the decision to author a book on Ovarian and Peritoneal Cancer. My weblogs will make up a portion of that book.
Also please remember to fly your flag tomorrow, September 11, 2009, the 8th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorists attacks on our country. Be sure to read my post for tomorrow…. it tells of the times I had the terrorists onboard my flights prior to the 9/11 attacks.
Thank you for reading and I hope I can continue to present articles of value so you come back again and again.
April 6, 2009
Overwhelmed, Honored and Humbled
Since my diagnosis of Primary Peritoneal Cancer two weeks ago Portland Firefly has received hundreds of calls, emails, letters, and cards. I am so totally overwhelmed by all the loving support, prayers, thoughts, good wishes and encouragement that so many have sent my way. My fireplace mantel (the favorite place to display cards) is overflowing with cards. I intend to print (as soon as I replace my printer ink cartridge) all the beautiful and heartfelt emails that you have sent my way. I want to put all my cards and emails into a little book, so I can turn to them for encouragement when I am feeling low.
You have all made me feel so loved and cared for. I am totally amazed. I have only lived here in Portland for about 17 months now and I cannot get over how many people have come to stand beside me and help me and lift me up.
My PEO sisters (more about PEO in another post) will be taking me to and from Chemo and whenver I need to go to the hospital. My neighbors are mowing my lawn and bringing in my trash barrels for me, unasked. My church is providing meals for me whenver I need them (usually the week of chemo). Some of my girlfriends took me to lunch Friday, when I still had my purple hair; and they gave me an adorable hat and beautiful soft scarf in shades of magenta (one of my best colors, as they all commented!) for when I don’t have any hair. People who don’t know what to say, come up to me and give me a sweet silent hug. Their wordless gesture so very powerful. And there are countless others who are on my “will call list” if anything unexpected comes up . Oh, I forgot the beautiful flowers I have received… brightening up my housebound days.
I can’t believe that I forgot to mention the numerous prayer lists that people have put me on. I firmly believe in the power of prayer and I know that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and that God alone has the plan for my life; I am submitted to His will. I so appreciate everyone that has asked if they could put me on their prayer list at their church — whichever church it might be. I don’t even ask which church, I just tell them , “Yes, please. Thank you so much.” So to all of the prayer warriors out there… Portland Firefly thanks you from the bottom of her very grateful heart.
One thing I have learned is that people want to help me if they can. I am honored that they have offered to do so. I will humble myself and allow them to help me where they can. I can use their help and I think it empowers them to be able to contribute to enhancing my quality of life and it allows me to be able to save my energy for the important things that I need to do so I can leave something of value to my family.
And so….to all who have encouraged me one way or another…. A BIG HUG AND A BIG THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. From your loving Portland Firefly….
January 21, 2009
Ultimate Survivor
Many Portlanders have checked into Portland Firefly’s blog to get info on the auditions for the Ultimate Survivor which will be held today (Wednesday, January 21, 2009) from 4-8 in Beaverton. She would like to wish every one of you GOOD LUCK! in your audition and hopes she was able to help you get on the road to your dream.
PS: Can you make fire?
I hope you visit my website again sometime soon www.pdxfirefly.com and let us know how you do, OK?
October 23, 2008
Where to Start???
Hello readers! In this weblog, I’ll be sharing some thoughts on personal growth as well as some interesting tidbits. Welcome Aboard!!!
The way my blog is set up, with the exception of this post, the most recent entries are at the top . One way to access the older entries is to click on a particular month in the Archives section. There are some interesting stories in there, so be sure to take a look! You may click on a category in the box to your right and it will bring up all posts in that category — for example- recipes or swifts. Or… you may type a topic in the search box and that will bring up any post related to that topic — such as skin care. For additional hints please read the page on “How to use this weblog” page at the bottom right column.
To see the beautiful video trailer for my book, TIE ONE ON, go to the TIE ONE ON Purchase page (to your right) or click on this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oc6LXT7qZo&feature=player_embedded.
TIE ONE ON may also be ordered by going to www.teal-books.com.
And so, readers, I welcome you to Portland Firefly and I look forward to your comments. If you do write a comment, be sure that you click on “submit” to send it to me. I must approve all comments before they appear on the blog, so it is possible for you to send me a personal note stating that you don’t wish it to be made public.
Now, “Buckle your seatbelts for takeoff!!!”
